The Body Language Expert & Motivational Speaker

Have you always wanted to know the secrets of body language and learn to become a body language expert?  REGISTER NOW for my free one-hour teleseminar on first impressions to take the first step in becoming a people reader. My nonverbal communication coaching programs guide you through the process of reading people through thoughts and feelings and to consciously be aware of the signals you and the people around you are sending and finally how to use that information to be more successful in your business and personal life. Whether you are a body language novice or have been reading books on the subject for years, it is time to become an expert! It’s time for you to take action and create success in your life with this dynamic communication knowledge.

Join me for a free teleseminar to learn:

• The single-most important thing you must know before you start reading people.
• How to identify someone you can trust from someone who is dangerous.
• Three ways to come across as composed and self assured.
• The four most important factors in establishing a good first impression.
• How to deal with a wimpy handshake.
• Two essential body language tools to feel more at ease meeting people at any meeting, social event or gathering.
• How to get a stranger to start a conversation with you without you saying a word.
• How to get in an out of conversations easily.

You can REGISTER NOW  for my free one-hour teleseminar and receive all your dial-in info as well as your BONUS pre-course article on how to give a great handshake.  If you are unable to attend the teleseminar, no worries! My Virtual Assistant, Melinda Janicki will be emailing you with the mp3 recording of the call available 24 hours after the call.

http://www.pattiwood.net/program.asp?PageID=7830

Here are links to two 2 videos and my answers to the questions that will be posted on Mad Dog & Mike’s blog:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eft3Q_zO6NE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJb1KvwuFvY 

1.  What do you see from the way both men gesture with one another in both of these links?

In the first link of the show at the stadium, as they first talk about the Finway and Camden stadiums, Mike begins a symbolic sword play with his gestures. He strikes the first blow with a dismissive hand flip that indicates him so superior to Russo he can flick him away like a little pesky fly and says do you like Fenway better than Camden? The dismissive backward hand flip is a Slap in the face to Mad Dog. Indicating nonverbally that I disrespect your option and you are going to look stupid in your response to that question.  Mike follows that with several outward sweeping sword moves to Mad Dog the sword fight then begins in earnest with Mad Dog first putting up a very brief peace symbol then a pointed finger to call, “time out, wait a minute” symbolically then an OK sign - all trying to be peaceful in responding to Mike’s attacks but then Russo’s voice gets very angry (that is nonverbal paralanguage) you can hear it get louder and rougher like a mad little kid as his emotions are pushed to the limit. Interestingly, Mike’s voice doesn’t escalate nearly as much as if he is on FM radio calming drugs even as he continues the sword fight his paralanguage indicates he is haughtily superior over Russo… Mad Dog continues to get Mike’s sword thrusts and swords sweeps to his body and Mad Dog continues to respond defensively putting up the OK sign and the protective palm and then near the end he is banging both his hands and puts them in to a fist symbolically pluming Mike and Mike slaps his palm to slap Mad Dog as if Russo was a smart aleck child and Mad Dog was the parent.

2.  They are arguing with one another in the first link (the one about Yankee Stadium), yet it seems like they don’t make a lot of eye contact.  What do you make of that?

The lack of eye contact is just radio eye contact. They are focused on speaking to the audience and into the mics - the rest of their bodies are interacting with each other. If they made eye contact they would have escalated to a real fist fight. Eye contact is the first move towards a fight!

3. In the link about David Letterman (2nd link), Mike gets up and walks out of the segment early.  What is your take on that?

First notice how excited Mad Dog gets when he knows what is being played. His hand flees in the air and he pushes his chair back across the booth as he yells “YES” in huge excitement.. If you watched Mike’s face very carefully he stays very still and then watches his face very carefully you will he realize he is about to be set up and embarrassed on the show and he says something and looks down in disgust. He stays and takes a sip of water. ( your mouth gets dry when you are nervous or under stress) and he swings the mic like when he hears the dig and then makes the comments about Dave making suggestions for the show, (all in very slow) takes his earpiece off and leaves. The listeners who didn’t see him leave would not know just how mad he is. The leaving was about set up being publicly humiliated by the producer it was slam to him.

4.  Many people mentioned roman episode, where Chris does not defend Mike, as a sign of the demise.  What can you read from Mike’s body language as they listened to the Letterman clip on air?

I know Mike is mad at him as he makes that comment (we can‘t hear) to him before he makes the other comments and gets up and leaves. Look at above, I think Mike is mad at the producers for making him look bad…his anger was directed specifically towards Russo. Russo was actually trying to say he didn’t hear the Mike dig when he was on the show. But what Russo doesn’t do is defend Mike then and there and say. Hey I have a great partner and you listeners know that I love him… You can see that Mike waits for that and doesn’t get it, then he leaves.

5.  In the Yankee Stadium link (about 9:30 into it), there is a lot of hand gesturing.  Russo is more animated than Mike.  What is your overall analysis of that?

Russo is more animated, period. He has a more kid like personality than Mike does.

6. Both Mike and Chris have mentioned when talking about their relationship, that their off-the-air issues have manifested themselves on-the-air.  Can you see examples of that in these videos?

Yes, the ones I mentioned.

7. Based on everything you’ve seen from these 2 videos, what does the body language of these two men tell you about their possible future together?

I think Mike is over it. His ego is to big. And Russo is just clueless to how much it affects Mike.

I was out with my friends Ellen and Judith the other night to celebrate Judith’s birthday, and the waitress brought out a wonderful chocolate lava cake with a candle on it for Judith.  My friends teased me that I must have asked the waitress to bring the cake. I said that I hadn’t and pressed my lips together, and they said, “Oh my gosh you’re lying!” But was I? In my deception detection workshop last night I discussed that pressing your lips together signals that you may be suppressing a thought or an emotion. It could be that you are suppressing a lie. So look at this cue and other cues to tell when someone is lying.

Last week Esquire magazine interviewed me on sneezing. Yes, I am a nationally known expert on sneezing. Funny isn’t it, but sneezing is a body language behavior that reflects your DISC personality style. So what does sneezing say about you? Take a look at the articles I was quoted in and I created as the national spokesperson for Benadryl.

http://pattiwood.net/uploads/final%20sneeze%20article.pdf

http://pattiwood.net/uploads/sneezearticle.pdf

Here is a Sun Star Essay about smiling that I am quoted in. Take a look…

ONE time, I called up a city government office and someone answered, “Halo” like she had a hot potato in her tongue. I gave the name of the person I wanted to talk to and I said, “Please.” There was no word from the other end; I wondered if I was cut off. Should I put down the phone or wait, or did I get a wrong number? A long while after, the person I asked to talk to came on the phone.

I guess no one smiled on the other end of that line.

Article Continued…

I remember as a teenager playing my guitar and writing a song with a lyric that went, “I caught one sided love, now what can I do? I’m head to my shoes, filled with the Sunny Day Blues.”

What does singing the blues have to do with body language? You may ask. Well when we have the blues we show the world our sadness through our body language. Researchers Horwitz and

Wakefield (Greater Good Magazine Winter 2007-2008) say that, “…unhappiness serves and evolutionary purpose. When we slump our shoulders, look down and frown or cry it keeps our enemies from feeling aggressive towards us and shows others that we need help. I remember driving home when my best friend was dying. I stopped at a gas station. The gas stations attendant said, “You look like you lost your best friend.” I looked at him with pent back tears in my eyes and as they gushed out I said with a sob, “I am loosing him” and he put his hand on my shoulder while I cried.

When I was 29, I grieved the loss of several loved ones including my soul-connected best friend. That dark, blue time made me realize a lot of things about my self. I learned my strengths and weaknesses and about the value of those incredible people. It made it clear to me that true friendship is a great treasure. The friendships I have made since have been enriched by my experience of loss. We spend so much time laughing and sharing good times, but each friend feels safe to be sad and unhappy with me and I am safe being sad or unhappy with them. Real sorrow is not a weakness; it is nothing to hide away from your true friends and loved ones. In fact, sharing it can draw you closer. As your vulnerabilities show others to share theirs. Surpressing your sadness can not only keep you from learning from your experience and growing, but prevent anyone from helping you and drawing closer to you. And that is a truly great loss.

Take a look at this article I am quoted in by Joan Morris of Contra Costa Times.
The handshake is dead — line up the alternatives
“Please bow your heads in recognition of the passing of the ancient and venerable handshake.”

Article Continued…

On his way to the first televised presidential debates, Richard Nixon bumped his knee severely while getting out of his car. Refusing stage make-up for his appearance and sweating profusely, he stood behind his podium favoring his injured leg, his body leaning to one side, making him appear crooked. These factors, in conjunction with his pain-filled face and his hands hidden behind the podium, made him appear dishonest to his television audience. According to the poll of the radio audience, who only heard him speak, Nixon won the debate by a landslide. In the poll of television viewers, Nixon lost by a landslide. John Kennedy won the presidency. If Nixon had known the significance of body language, he might have paid closer attention to the image he was projecting.

What makes body language so significant? What makes those thousands of cues that you give out every minute, so important? Well, while you are rapidly giving out these cues, your audience is subconsciously processing them. In other words, they just look at you and go with their gut. However well supported and prepared your speech content is, it is your nonverbal delivery that establishes your credibility for an audience.

And, most importantly, however you hold yourself, however you move through space, and however you gesture, your body sends messages back to your brain. So, if you are standing with your shoulders drooping and head bowed, the little pharmacy in your brain creates, and sends, negative chemicals into your bloodstream in less than a fortieth of a second - to make you feel the way you look.

The great news is, if you know what creates powerful body language messages, and you integrate that with an awareness of your own body language, you can feel as powerful as you wish to be.

What makes a speaker positively powerful? Attributes like full control of the space, relaxed body language, a posture that is open, and a strong, authentic presence. To begin feeling that power yourself, imagine a lion in the jungle. She establishes her space and territory; she’s queen of the jungle. She’s relaxed; she moves gracefully. If she met a mouse on her path, it’s the mouse who would be tense. Her posture is open; she stretches out her limbs. She’d never have to battle for an armrest on an airplane. She’s -authentic; she carries her confidence and stability with her. She’s herself. She’s not a zebra, though she may study zebras to be a better hunter.

Article Continued…

Look at his face when he gets emotional and you will notice that his lips press together, a signal that typically shows that someone is trying to suppress emotion. It would make sense that a former prisoner of war would have learned to do this.  But you can tell he has strong emotions and tries to suppress enormous anger because his cheeks with often fill up with that anger like a puffer fish and blow out. Look for that exasperation signal in people when they are under stress. It let’s you know who is mad and who may explode at any moment. 

Check out this article I interviewed for in SheKnows.com: http://www.sheknows.com/articles/health-and-wellness/dental/

I have received a lot of emails about the Narcissism read of Obama. I have been reading about Narcissism a great deal. One of my favorite college classes at Florida State was Mythology and I remember very clearly the relish with which our very animated professor told the story of Narcissus, who fell in love with his own reflection. Narcissists generally crave attention, are overconfident of their abilities, lack empathy and can show erratic behavior. I was reading a research study by  Drew Pinsky, an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at USC. He is known as “Dr. Drew,” on the radio advice show Loveline for the last 20 years. He says that “They are also well-liked, especially on first meeting, are extroverted and perform well in public.”

 Pinsky and Young asked 200 guest celebrities on Loveline to anonymously complete the standard Narcissism Personality Inventory profile, which measures “authority,” “exhibitionism,” “superiority,” “entitlement,” “exploitativeness,”
“self-sufficiency,” and “vanity” as components of narcissism.

While an earlier study found a base test score of 15.3 for the adult population of the U.S., Pinsky and Young found a celebrity average NPI score of 17.84 in their survey, and a whopping 19.2 score for female celebrities, driven by notably higher results for “exhibitionism,” “superiority,” and “vanity.”

“The industry attracts and retains women who place a very strong emphasis on their physical appearance,” the authors conclude. And for reality TV personalities, who scored 19.45 on the NPI, Pinsky and Young say, “Reality television has provided an outlet for narcissistic individuals, many with limited abilities, to believe that they can succeed in the entertainment industry.”

Pile all that on top of the sense of “entitlement” and “exploitativeness” you may recognize the fabulously wealthy party girl heiress, Paris Hilton a veritable poster child for towering, gilded narcissism.

“Knowing that many celebrities have narcissistic tendencies may allow entertainment industry decision makers such as studio executives, producers, directors, agents, publicists and casting agents to work with them more effectively,” Young explained. “It may also provide greater insight into celebrity behavior for the general public.” I think it also may give us insight into the kind of person we may want to be our next president.