The Body Language Expert & Motivational Speaker

July 22, 2008

How much of the meaning of a message is communicated nonverbally?

Filed under: Body Language, Books, Commentary, Body Language Tips — Body Language Lady @ 9:10 pm

How much of the meaning of a message is communicated nonverbally? I know you have heard statistics in a presentation or read it in a book or online. The invalid statistic that has been promoted by many speakers and trainers states that 55% of the meaning of communication is body language, 38% is in tonality, and 7% rests in the words themselves. Yep I said INVALID.

Albert Mehrabian PHD, of the University of California,  Los Angles (UCLA), is credited as the originator of the 55%, 38%, 7% Rule. He and his colleagues conducted two studies on communication patterns and published the studies in professional journals in 1967.

Mehrabian later discussed the results of the studies in two books in the early 1970s. The results of the studies were widely circulated in the press, in abbreviated form, leading to a misunderstanding of the original research and inaccurate generalizations of the conclusions. They were even misquoted in the textbooks I had in grad school and the one I used when I taught body language for four years at Florida State University.

Below, an article about the research conducted by Albert Mehrabian.

Non-Verbal Communication

A Linear Model for the Inference of Attitudes from Multichannel Communications

Mehrabian and Wiener (1967) and M and Ferris (1967) investigated the combined effects of consistent or inconsistent verbal-vocal communications and consistent and inconsistent facial-vocal communications of attitude respectively. Both studies involved nine sets of communication stimuli.

In the M W study, verbal-vocal communications were prepared so that three degrees of positive verbal content were associated with three degrees of vocally expressed attitude. Having been judged for amount of liking conveyed, the words honey, thanks and dear were selected as instances of positive contents ( the judgments of these words had comparable mean values and standard deviations ). Similarly, the words maybe, really and oh were selected as comparable instances of neutral contents; and the words don’t, brute and terrible were selected as comparable instances of negative contents.

Two female speakers were employed to read each of the nine selected words in positive, neutral and negative vocal expressions. For these three conditions, respectively, the speakers spoke the words, regardless of content to convey, liking, high evaluation, or preference; a neutral attitude, that is, neither liking nor disliking; and an attitude of dislike, low evaluation, or lack of preference towards the target person. All possible combinations of two speaker conditions, three vocal conditions, three content conditions, and three instances of each content condition were recorded on tape.

To obtain the independent effects of the vocal and content components of these recordings, and to relate these to the effects of the total vocal content messages, Mehrabian and Wiener (1967) had three different groups of subjects listen to these recorded messages. One group was asked to judge the degree of liking conveyed by each message, relying only on the meanings of the words used and not on the vocal expression. The second group was asked to judge the degree of liking relying only on the vocal component and not on the meanings of the words used. Finally, the third group formed their judgments of liking on the basis of all the information combined in each message.

The results of the study showed that the vocal component in the various messages primarily determined the subjects’ judgments of affect from the total messages (content and vocal components combined), and that the content component of inconsistent messages had a negligible contribution to the affect inferred from such statements.

As you will realize now, the rule of 55%, 38%, 7% is not correct and only applicable in situations where messages are incongruent.

Mehrabian actually stated (Anchor Point, 1994) that he never intended his results to be applied to normal conversation (and assumedly not to public speaking either). He only wanted to help his readers resolve incongruent messages regarding liking and disliking. Thus, his research has useful, yet limited applications, which have been blown out of proportion.

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July 20, 2008

Online Dating

This week I was interviewed as a body language expert about the effect of the lack of nonverbal communication on online dating relationships. The interviewer was excited that I had dated online so I could tell her my first hand experience as well as my professional opinion…

One of the best things is also one of the worst things about the internet. That is the barrier it creates between the two people as they begin the flirting and dating process. The barrier creates both anonymity and physical space between them that is not in any way a natural way to meet and interact with a potential partner.

It allows the online daters to do and say things they would not normally do face to face. Sometimes that can be a great thing. Someone who is normally rather shy can be more courageous and reveal themselves more easily and actually “approach” someone they would not normally feel comfortable asking out or dating. Two people can email each other sweet self disclosing emails saying things that they wouldn’t feel comfortable saying face to face, but still be communicating from their hearts. The space allows hearts to flutter open and tenderness to come out. That can be magical. You may be able to find a love you have waited for. For centuries lovers wrote letters to one another that created some of most beautiful poetry. Online dating can be filled with poetry.

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July 14, 2008

FREE Body Language Teleseminar on Tuesday August 12, 2008

Filed under: Body Language, Handshakes, First Impressions, Body Language Tips, Body Language Analysis — Body Language Lady @ 9:50 am

Have you always wanted to know the secrets of body language and learn to become a body language expert?  REGISTER NOW for my free one-hour teleseminar on first impressions to take the first step in becoming a people reader. My nonverbal communication coaching programs guide you through the process of reading people through thoughts and feelings and to consciously be aware of the signals you and the people around you are sending and finally how to use that information to be more successful in your business and personal life. Whether you are a body language novice or have been reading books on the subject for years, it is time to become an expert! It’s time for you to take action and create success in your life with this dynamic communication knowledge.

Join me for a free teleseminar to learn:

  • The single-most important thing you must know before you start reading people.
  • How to identify someone you can trust from someone who is dangerous.
  • Three ways to come across as composed and self assured.
  • The four most important factors in establishing a good first impression.
  • How to deal with a wimpy handshake.
  • Two essential body language tools to feel more at ease meeting people at any meeting, social event or gathering.
  • How to get a stranger to start a conversation with you without you saying a word.
  • How to get in an out of conversations easily.

You can REGISTER NOW  for my free one-hour teleseminar and receive all your dial-in info as well as your BONUS pre-course article on how to give a great handshake.  If you are unable to attend the teleseminar, no worries! My Virtual Assistant, Melinda Janicki will be emailing you with the mp3 recording of the call available 24 hours after the call.

http://www.pattiwood.net/program.asp?PageID=7830

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June 30, 2008

Conversational Cues

Filed under: Conversational Cues, Body Language, Deception Detection, Body Language Tips — Body Language Lady @ 4:10 am

Last night I was giving a workshop on effective body language techniques to detect deception. One of the participants in the body language workshop asked me how you can tell when it is time to talk in a conversation. That may seem like an odd question. But I believe many people have a hard time reading nonverbal cues for turn-taking because they spend so much time on e-mail and the phone, that they haven’t had the practice and experience in picking up the language of the body. Just like any other language, it takes experience.

For example, as a person completes what they are saying, they may drop their arms and lean back, close their mouth and make eye contact as a way to seek feedback on what they just said and in effect allow someone else a turn to speak. A person wanting to speak next may raise an arm or a finger as if to grasp the turn from the converser, or step or lean forward or open their mouth and/or puff up their chest with air in preparation to speak.

Article Continued…

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June 28, 2008

Was I Lying!

I was out with my friends Ellen and Judith the other night to celebrate Judith’s birthday, and the waitress brought out a wonderful chocolate lava cake with a candle on it for Judith.  My friends teased me that I must have asked the waitress to bring the cake. I said that I hadn’t and pressed my lips together, and they said, “Oh my gosh you’re lying!” But was I? In my deception detection workshop last night I discussed that pressing your lips together signals that you may be suppressing a thought or an emotion. It could be that you are suppressing a lie. So look at this cue and other cues to tell when someone is lying.

Last week Esquire magazine interviewed me on sneezing. Yes, I am a nationally known expert on sneezing. Funny isn’t it, but sneezing is a body language behavior that reflects your DISC personality style. So what does sneezing say about you? Take a look at the articles I was quoted in and I created as the national spokesperson for Benadryl.

http://pattiwood.net/uploads/final%20sneeze%20article.pdf

http://pattiwood.net/uploads/sneezearticle.pdf

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June 22, 2008

Sunny day blues… Ever have them?

I remember as a teenager playing my guitar and writing a song with a lyric that went, “I caught one sided love, now what can I do? I’m head to my shoes, filled with the Sunny Day Blues.”

What does singing the blues have to do with body language? You may ask. Well when we have the blues we show the world our sadness through our body language. Researchers Horwitz and

Wakefield (Greater Good Magazine Winter 2007-2008) say that, “…unhappiness serves and evolutionary purpose. When we slump our shoulders, look down and frown or cry it keeps our enemies from feeling aggressive towards us and shows others that we need help. I remember driving home when my best friend was dying. I stopped at a gas station. The gas stations attendant said, “You look like you lost your best friend.” I looked at him with pent back tears in my eyes and as they gushed out I said with a sob, “I am loosing him” and he put his hand on my shoulder while I cried.

When I was 29, I grieved the loss of several loved ones including my soul-connected best friend. That dark, blue time made me realize a lot of things about my self. I learned my strengths and weaknesses and about the value of those incredible people. It made it clear to me that true friendship is a great treasure. The friendships I have made since have been enriched by my experience of loss. We spend so much time laughing and sharing good times, but each friend feels safe to be sad and unhappy with me and I am safe being sad or unhappy with them. Real sorrow is not a weakness; it is nothing to hide away from your true friends and loved ones. In fact, sharing it can draw you closer. As your vulnerabilities show others to share theirs. Surpressing your sadness can not only keep you from learning from your experience and growing, but prevent anyone from helping you and drawing closer to you. And that is a truly great loss.

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June 20, 2008

Finding a replacement for the handshake…

Filed under: Humor, Handshakes, Office Interactions, Body Language Tips, Fun Stuff, Body Language Analysis — Body Language Lady @ 12:31 am

http://www.contracostatimes.com/portlet/article/html/render_gallery.jsp?articleId=9609418&siteId=571&startImage=1Take a look at this article I am quoted in by Joan Morris of Contra Costa Times.
The handshake is dead — line up the alternatives
“Please bow your heads in recognition of the passing of the ancient and venerable handshake.”

Article Continued…

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June 12, 2008

Be Alive & Stay Connected…

Filed under: Relationships, Body Language Tips, Fun Stuff — Body Language Lady @ 1:39 am

Each day I look at the little black and tan furry face of my dog Bo as I say, “Walk outside?” and watch him grin. Yes, lips pulled back, squinty eyed, he smiles. Then his whole body wiggles and fills with glee as he leaps and dances around me. Once the door opens he walks beside me, nose sniffing and tail wagging enjoying each grassy smell, happy for each fellow dog, or child who wants to pet him.  He is in the moment, as if this walk where the first walk, the only walk, the best walk ever, not the walk we take each day, not the walk we have taken for years.  Being with him, watching his body language, I  feel what he is feeling. We were connected in joy.

Article Continued…

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June 5, 2008

Powerful Presentation Body Language

On his way to the first televised presidential debates, Richard Nixon bumped his knee severely while getting out of his car. Refusing stage make-up for his appearance and sweating profusely, he stood behind his podium favoring his injured leg, his body leaning to one side, making him appear crooked. These factors, in conjunction with his pain-filled face and his hands hidden behind the podium, made him appear dishonest to his television audience. According to the poll of the radio audience, who only heard him speak, Nixon won the debate by a landslide. In the poll of television viewers, Nixon lost by a landslide. John Kennedy won the presidency. If Nixon had known the significance of body language, he might have paid closer attention to the image he was projecting.

What makes body language so significant? What makes those thousands of cues that you give out every minute, so important? Well, while you are rapidly giving out these cues, your audience is subconsciously processing them. In other words, they just look at you and go with their gut. However well supported and prepared your speech content is, it is your nonverbal delivery that establishes your credibility for an audience.

And, most importantly, however you hold yourself, however you move through space, and however you gesture, your body sends messages back to your brain. So, if you are standing with your shoulders drooping and head bowed, the little pharmacy in your brain creates, and sends, negative chemicals into your bloodstream in less than a fortieth of a second - to make you feel the way you look.

The great news is, if you know what creates powerful body language messages, and you integrate that with an awareness of your own body language, you can feel as powerful as you wish to be.

What makes a speaker positively powerful? Attributes like full control of the space, relaxed body language, a posture that is open, and a strong, authentic presence. To begin feeling that power yourself, imagine a lion in the jungle. She establishes her space and territory; she’s queen of the jungle. She’s relaxed; she moves gracefully. If she met a mouse on her path, it’s the mouse who would be tense. Her posture is open; she stretches out her limbs. She’d never have to battle for an armrest on an airplane. She’s -authentic; she carries her confidence and stability with her. She’s herself. She’s not a zebra, though she may study zebras to be a better hunter.

Article Continued…

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May 14, 2008

Some Thoughts on John McCain’s Body Language & Tips for you…

Look at his face when he gets emotional and you will notice that his lips press together, a signal that typically shows that someone is trying to suppress emotion. It would make sense that a former prisoner of war would have learned to do this.  But you can tell he has strong emotions and tries to suppress enormous anger because his cheeks with often fill up with that anger like a puffer fish and blow out. Look for that exasperation signal in people when they are under stress. It let’s you know who is mad and who may explode at any moment. 

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